Since I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

Interviewer: Your asking for a pretty high salary for someone without any experience. Interviewee: Well, this job is going to be super hard since i don’t know what i’m doing.  

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They Boo Meringue

I WAS WATCHING AUSTRILAN MASTER CHEF Last night. Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered. I thought… That’s odd, normally in Australia they boo meringue.

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All Dads

“I’M NOT SLEPPING; I’M JUST RESTING MY EYES.” -ALL dads, on every couch, anytime ever.  

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Oh Pun The Door

My wife locked me outside the house because she got sick of my terrible wordplay jokes. I texted her “oh pun the door!”  

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Real Chewy

You guys ever try Wookie meat? i hear it is real chewy.

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She’s The Gratist

When we make pizza at home it’s my Wife’s job to shred the cheese… She’s is the gratist!

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A Turdle

What do you call a slow moving poop? A turdle.

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It’s Deep

I dig, you digs, She digs We dig , They Dig. It’s  not a long peom,but its deep

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Just In Case

I always knocking the fridge door before i open it. Just in Case there’s a salad dressing

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I’ve Got Her A Magazine Rack

Its the wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving the jewelry catalogues all over the house. So, I’ve take the hint …. I’ve got her a magazine rack.

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