All my life I thought air was free… Until I bought a bag of chips.
Read More »What Borders On Insanity?
What borders on insanity? Canada and Mexico….
Read More »Since I Don’t Know What I’m Doing
Interviewer: Your asking for a pretty high salary for someone without any experience. Interviewee: Well, this job is going to be super hard since i don’t know what i’m doing.
Read More »They Boo Meringue
I WAS WATCHING AUSTRILAN MASTER CHEF Last night. Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered. I thought… That’s odd, normally in Australia they boo meringue.
Read More »Because He’s A Ruler
Why is the king only one foot tall? Because he is a ruler.
Read More »I Couldn’t Work Sundaes
I had to resign from my job as an ice cream taste tester. I couldn’t work sundaes…
Read More »All Dads
“I’M NOT SLEPPING; I’M JUST RESTING MY EYES.” -ALL dads, on every couch, anytime ever.
Read More »Oh Pun The Door
My wife locked me outside the house because she got sick of my terrible wordplay jokes. I texted her “oh pun the door!”
Read More »I’m Thinking Of Looking Into It
My friend told me that a crystal ball Would change my life. I am thinking of looking into it.
Read More »Take Away Its Tiny Brooms
How do you stop Canadian bacon From curling in a frying pan? Take away it’s tiny brooms.
Read More »It’s All Fun And Games
it’s all fun and game until your oversized shirts start fitting
Read More »Real Chewy
You guys ever try Wookie meat? i hear it is real chewy.
Read More »She’s The Gratist
When we make pizza at home it’s my Wife’s job to shred the cheese… She’s is the gratist!
Read More »On The Other Hand, I’m Okay
I broke my finger last week… On the other hand, i’m okay.
Read More »Do You Have Reservations?
Waiter: Do you have reservations? Me: Yeah , but i think i will eat here anyway.
Read More »A Turdle
What do you call a slow moving poop? A turdle.
Read More »A Blast From The Past
What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast form the past.
Read More »It’s Deep
I dig, you digs, She digs We dig , They Dig. It’s not a long peom,but its deep
Read More »Just In Case
I always knocking the fridge door before i open it. Just in Case there’s a salad dressing
Read More »I’ve Got Her A Magazine Rack
Its the wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving the jewelry catalogues all over the house. So, I’ve take the hint …. I’ve got her a magazine rack.
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