So a vowel saves another vowel’s life. The other vowel says, “Aye E! I owe you!”
Read More »What The Hellman
Someone stole my jar of mayonnaise at lunch today. I was like, “What the Hellman?”
Read More »Taking Steps To Avoid Them
I’m terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
Read More »He Means Well
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!” I know he means well.
Read More »His Sister Onya
Karl Marx is a historically famous Philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol…
Read More »So I Went Home
My boss told me to have a good day. So i went home.
Read More »Inflation
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $i.50. You know why? Inflation.
Read More »I’ve Heard Nothing Since
3 weeks ago i send my hearing aids in for repair. I’ve heard nothing since
Read More »I Bring A Lot To The Table
Manager: “Why would you make a good waiter at my restaurant?” Me: “I bring a lot to the table.”
Read More »A Bounty Hunter
I went to three different stores trying to find some paper towels. I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.
Read More »It’s Spam
Warning: There is an email doing around offering processed pork, gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN it’s spam.
Read More »Nothing To Chauffeur It
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn’t come with a driver. Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it.
Read More »It’s A Fair Price Toupee
Some people think the cost of wigs is too high. Personally i think it’s a fair price toupee.
Read More »Unspeakable Things
I was kidnapped by a gang of mimes. They threatened to do unspeakable things.
Read More »The Plot Thickens
As suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
Read More »I Can’t Put It Down
I am reading a book about anti- gravity. I can’t put it down.
Read More »Everything Before That Was A Blur
My earliest clear childhood memory was going with my parents to the eye doctor. Everything before that was a blur.
Read More »A Pissed-Achio
What do you call an angry nut? A pissed-achio
Read More »Let’s Just Say He Lost His Case
A man sued an airline after losing his luggage. Let’s just say he lost his case.
Read More »It’s About Time
My book on clocks finally arrived. It’s about time.
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